Brothers Romance Others
by Happy Skeleton Friend
Summary: -Not each other. But this is fanfiction, and when a miscommunication puts Papyrus and Sans on a date, it's probably going to end in something not suitable for all readers. And some fluff revolving around spaghetti among other things. Sans/Papyrus (Warning; fictional incest) *COVER IMAGE*: JoyceW-Art @Tumblr, link in first chapter **DISCONTINUED** ("happyskeletonfriend" Tumblr4info)
1. Darn Dog

**COVER IMAGE:** joycew-art . tumblr post/134749625260/are-they-on-a-date-or-just-hanging-out-whatever (I have permission from JoyceW-Art Tumblr)

 **Author Note:** Since the skeletons are monsters and not necessarily the "skeletons" we humans know, some liberties have been taken. Also because they have to reproduce _somehow_. But that's for a later chapter.

"Speech"

 _'Inner most thoughts'_

/Introduction - Darn Dog/

Sans almost felt like he was pacing nervously as he went in and out of his room, remembering he had to grab "this" or "that" before he could begin to tackle his current fear. When the clutter was fancied up by scented candles, petals from a fake rose, sprinkles, a fur rug, an assortment of citrus fruit... he finally was able to realize how much more cluttered he was making is room, and how it was not helping.

 _'alright, that was probably my epiphany. no more running or pacing away,'_ deep breath, _'this isn't even the real deal, this isn't even the real deal..'_ Sort of convinced he couldn't get rejected as things were, he turned on the romantic music to help the words along.

/-/

It was a terrible day with heavy clouds threatening to shoot frozen water down onto Snowdin. The day was going great, however, for a happy skeleton; until he tested his puzzle out. It had been his pride and joy for the last two days. Now it was a swinging mess. The dog attached to the puzzle (which he called _THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!_ ) had gotten too excited when he gave the word needed for his creation to activate. Since dangerous items like spikes, blades, canons (and that darn dog) were all just dangling in the air (above an area a human would certainly cross one day), the small creature didn't even have to try hard to mess things up. It just did.

"WOW! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM MILDLY IMPRESSED BY HOW DEDICATED THAT DOG IS TO THE DESTRUCTION OF SUCH A WELL-BUILT PUZZLE! IT MUST HAVE TAKEN A GREAT DEAL OF EFFORT TO DISMANTLE IT!" His sweat poured down to his forced smile. Everything would be okay for someone who worked so hard, but the third destruction of the same structure in one day felt a bit excessive even for him. Papyrus would normally spend a few more hours perfecting his work. That was changed for the day now.

The cool breeze of Snowdin helped him regain his cool in no time. When he'd reached his house, he was back to being a happy skeleton. Still, his day had been changed, so he didn't head back out. Instead, he opened the door in time to hear a saxophone solo of _Careless Whisper_ roar on.

"to be, uhh, frank -whoever that guy is- i don't have a pun today. but this is as important.."

There was a long silence. The voice of his brother was coming from Sans's room, but Papyrus could hear clearly, and even sense the nervousness that filled that terrifyingly messy room. Since it was important (and uncharacteristic), he didn't interrupt.

"i want to take this to the next level."

 _'Level? But that would require LOVE,'_ Papyrus gulped. _Level Of Violence_.

"i want to show you love..?"

As Sans slapped his hand over his face for bringing such a lame way of asking someone out into existence, Papyrus ran outside. The light slam of the door went unheard under the sleazy saxophone.

/-/

 **End Note:** Size isn't everything when it comes to chapters ; ) So here's the little intro. I hope you like it; I hope that you didn't click on this fanfiction knowing you wouldn't like it; I hope I can get some more of this done.

I will stay

DETERMINED. To finish this.


	2. Special Spaghetti

**Author Note:** Heh.. I'm also new to this site, so these two chapters have been delayed from the world for 12 hours. Think about that. What were you doing 12 hours ago? Being deprived of skelebromance is on that list.

(Ps, sorry if anything doesn't make sense. There's some allusions under the assumption that you've seen and/or played Undertale. Doggo save you readers who haven't..)

/Chapter 2 - Special Spaghetti/

Papyrus stared wide-eyed at the snow, far away as he dared from his home. LOVE was one thing, _love_ was another. He wanted to believe it was platonic, brotherly love, but..

"THAT MUSIC LEFT NOTHING TO THE IMAGINATION!"

And..

"WAIT.. THAT DOG THAT-.. MY P-PUZZLE... COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT! HE MUST BE INTENSELY IN L-LOVE WITH ME; TO BE SO LAZY YET PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO ENSURING I WAS THERE AT THE EXACT MOMENT HE WANTED!"

But..

"DOES THIS MEAN THAT I HAVE TO DATE MY OWN BROTHER!?"

It wasn't a question long pondered. Sans flirted with Papyrus, therefore he had to date him.

With how long it would take him to return (half an hour or so, if anyone's counting), the coast was mostly guaranteed to be clear. Sans, off slacking. Now he could go home. And set up his date. The trip felt too short to sort the sudden progression out, and the sight of Dogamy and Dogaressa only tightened the confusing knot in his stomach that pulled this way and that.

/-/

Sans meandered back to the house, taking an awful lot of time thinking. _'i think that was a missed opportunity for a pun back there..'_

The usual spaghetti smell fled out of the house as soon as he opened the door a crack. Something felt different about the spaghetti. _'i guess it best 'spaghetti'ng out of here,'_ whatever was about to go down wasn't normal.

"SANS?"

He pushed the door open fully.

"SANS!"

The skeleton's attention drawn, he saw a huge pot of spaghetti balanced daringly on a trivet on the table he kept his pet rock on. There wasn't much on the table besides spaghetti-eating necessities, but it felt oddly decorated. His brother was sitting at the table.

"GLAD IT'S YOU AND NOT SOMEONE WHO GOT THE WRONG HOUSE. YOU HAD ME A LITTLE WORRIED!" Papyrus spread his arms to present the food, "I DECIDED TO MAKE IT A SURPRISE! SURPRISE!"

"well, it's certainly been 'trivet'ing so far."

Papyrus' smile faltered between anger and a shameful smile, "SANS! OH MY GOD! YOUR PUNS ALWAYS MAKE ME QUESTION WHAT IS SAFE TO USE AROUND THIS HOUSE!"

"it doesn't matter what you use. i was 'bone' 'tibia' funny guy."

"YOU HAVE WAY TOO MANY FUNNY BONES IN YOU.. JUST TAKE A SEAT!"

As Sans did, Papyrus got up to serve him a plate. The piled high plate made Sans glad for the lessons Undyne was giving his brother; it looked almost edible.

"IT'S A SPECIAL SPAGHETTI DINNER, SO DIG IN!"

 _'i see. if it's special, he must have tried something different.'_ And putting on an actor's face, Sans happily dug in. "i can taste the love(?) you put into it." It honestly tasted as it normally did, but it brought a new kind of smile to Sans face to see the goofy way Papyrus took his words. He looked wide-eyed and shocked.

"I HAD TO PUT A LITTLE LOVE INTO IT FOR O-OUR DATE! WOWIE! I DIDN'T KNOW IT COULD AFFECT THE FLAVOR!"

 _'.. date?'_ Regardless to his confusion, a pun came to mind and he said it in the same instant it did, refusing to miss out on anymore for the day, "since we're having our first date, am I now your 'bro'friend?"

"MAYBE!?" _'I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN MATCH THIS SUDDEN SURGE OF PASSION!'_ "WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT L-LATER! IT'S BAD TO SAY YOU LOVE SOMEONE ON THE FIRST DATE! AN AMATEUR MISTAKE, B-BUT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, KNOW BETTER!" By the time he finished saying that, the taller brother was sweating nervously and almost out the door not too long into the date, "HOW INTERESTING THAT I HAPPEN TO HAVE A PUZZLE TO WORK ON NOW! THAT DARN DOG! DESTROYED IT EARLIER!" He almost fainted, seeing the supposed mastermind behind that dog disaster was right in front of him. And he was getting up. And walking over. And looking at him with such an 'intrigued' expression.

"do you want me to go with you?"

 _'OH NO, THAT'S SO ROMANTIC!'_ "WE'VE DONE E-ENOUGH FOR THIS DATE! GOODNIGHT! N-NYEH-HEH-H-HEH! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS OFF!"

With the slam of a door, Sans was left alone, worried. Instead of getting some explanation, an excuse that it was a slip of the tongue, Papyrus had only called it a "date" for a second time. Coupled with his bizarre behaviour.. Papyrus was either feverish or...

"a... date." He wanted to shrug his shoulders and call himself crazy. But what other explanation was there? ' _and just when i was almost ready to ask that lady behind the door on a date. well..,'_ a chuckle, _'guess i'll post'bone' it like i always do._

 _'i don't want to break papyrus' heart over something this 'trivet'al. it's probably a silly little crush that he developed since undyne's been away for a few days._

 _'he's far too innocent to think of anything near pg-13, so i'm probably safe if i play along.'_

And somewhere else in Snowdin, his brother decides that Sans is just lonely because he isn't as popular as himself on the Internet. Papyrus decides he must play along.

/-/

 **End Note:** There it is. Two chapters in one day (but it might be more equal to one whole chapter..). I feel like I was being watched over by an angel of puns for Sans's 'date dialogue'. Frankly, my dear, I am bad at bad puns, so it was a miracle.


	3. Perspiring Papyrus

**Author Note:** Looks like it's all just fluff so far in this past few day. Golly. Little old me will have to fix that.

/Chapter 3 - Perspiring Papyrus/

The snow was settled into a beautiful sheet after a fresh fall. It's 3:52am. The only person up and about at this hour is bounding joyously, crunching the snow out of its flawless state. He smiles, knowing the snow is at its best to make a snow-skeleton. Of himself, of course.

As the monster set to work at shaping the sixth pair of stylish snow booties, sudden crisp sounds of footsteps wandered from behind a tree. A perspiring Papyrus was greeted with white irises and a bad pun.

"'snow' wonder there's a ton of cool snowmonsters this morning. did you get any sleep?"

"'SNOW' NEED! WHY, IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL THAT I DIDN'T GO H-HOME LAST NIGHT!"

"understandable," Sans said nonchalantly after a pause, "but you weren't there for the new book i picked up."

"NEW BOOK!? WOWIE! WILL YOU READ IT TO ME NOW?"

"yeah, sure. come with me."

Sans grabbed Papyrus' hand, leading him back towards the shortcut he'd taken. Papyrus truly had a one-track mind, forgetting his nerves completely for enthusiasm.

"WHAT'S IT CALLED?"

"that would spoil it. but don't worry, we're going to have a lot of 'pun'."

He was no longer so enthusiastic.

/-/

They struggled between each other for an unknown time frame in their shared house. Papyrus was trying to escape back into the cold, white freedom, while Sans tried to get him to settle down so he could read the book without fear of tearing the pages in their frantic movements. It was a.. special book. With the upper hand in restraining Papyrus, Sans' mind allowed itself to linger a little deeper into the thought of the lady who previously held the book before slipping it under the door for him.

The blush that crept up didn't go unnoticed. "SANS! WHAT'S YOUR MIND ON?"

"maybe someone special," he teasingly winked. He was smiling _that_ one unconscious smile again when he'd successfully brought _that_ wide-eyed expression back onto Papyrus. Wanting a bit more fun, he added in, "do you want to hear what kind of thoughts they are?"

"NO.."

"why, there's a _ton_ of thoughts in my skull." Embarrassment quickly turned to terror as Papyrus grasped the situation.

"NO!"

"a skele'ton'."

The struggle resumed, intensified. When they'd begun to suck in ragged breaths and sweat decorated their bodies, it finally ended. Knowing it was over, they also finally let out their held in laughs with as much air as they could spare before they had to take another deep inhale, and then another.

"THAT WAS QUITE THE PUNISHMENT," Papyrus gasped out.

Sans stared extra hard in the following moments with an unreadable smirk.

".. WHAT?"

Sans leaned in.

"SANS..?"

He brought their bodies close enough to feel the warmth of the recent scuffle coming off of the other. He brought his face even closer.

"W-WHAT AM I MISSING HERE?"

Papyrus felt the still uneven breathing of his brother on his ear(?), and a chuckling voice, "'pun'ishment, you said?"

A groan, "OH MY GOD! IS NOTHING SAFE FROM YOUR RELENTLESS EXPLOITATION OF WORDS?!"

Sans shrugged and got off of Papyrus. He offered a hand up, which Papyrus took. As soon as they were both standing, Sans was staring at the other skeleton again.

"you're smiling."

"I HATE IT."

"but it looks good on you."

Those wide eyes stared back for a minute. Then went down to their still entwined hands. "I NEED MY HAND BACK, PLEASE! THERE'S MORE P-PUZZLES THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, NEED TO BRING INTO EXISTENCE! F-FOR THE HUMANS!"

He made another thrilling run away from Sans.

/-/

 **End Note:** Short chapter. But aren't they all?

Now, was that sweaty and physical-y enough to not be considered just fluff? Personally, I think it was almost too sweaty and physical-y. Next thing you know, this will be a wrestling fanfic.

Oh dang, Undertale Wrestling has already been done..

By the way, does anyone have a problem with how short these chapters are? (Is there a problem with the size of my junk, in other words, since this is "junk" and I won't deny it. I came into this fanfiction biz knowing what I was getting into. Don't pity this dark fate I'm condemned to.)


	4. Nearing Night

**Author Note:** It seems I've stepped up to the challenge. This fanfiction will- take a step closer to the M zone! They'll do it for you, Guest! But not actually _it_ because that would be MA. _*goes to read what is allowed in an M-rated fic*_

/Chapter 4 - Nearing Night/

Papyrus was no where to be seen since 6:54am. (Which, for the one keeping track, was when their hands had stayed on one another for longer than Papyrus could take.) Sans had had to stop himself from tracking him down again to avoid the official title of "Underground's Most Doting Brother". Now that it was nearing night, he hadn't seen him for a _seriously_ worrying amount of time. The only confirmation that some kid hadn't charged through Snowdin to kill Papyrus was the whispers the skeletons had a thing for leaving in their wake.

Undyne had that skill as well.

Sans heard just enough talk that his brother was alive and still a doofus to calm his nerves before it was overshadowed by talk of Undyne's return to Snowdin. She apparently had; attended a "nerdy" Royal Guard meeting, lost her cellphone, demolished a snowman (by accident), and was just recently ordering the greasiest food Grillby's had to offer. The monster kid (forcibly) telling this hero's story to Shyren (who was passing by and didn't ask for any of this) seemed far too impressed with how much grease said hero could eat. (Though Sans was also a little guilty of that.)

 _'ahh, that must be it. he hasn't seen undyne for- three, four days now? they must still be hanging out.'_

True enough, Shyren was being informed of Undyne's meet-up with a skeleton. There was a lot of poorly masked jealousy in the monster kid's words.

Sans, however much he tried to be satisfied with using that as an excuse, couldn't convince himself for long.

 _'guess i have also been avoiding him on top of that..'_ Changing up his usual routine, going to places at different times. He hadn't even been to Grillby's once. Even when they both had plans, _someone_ made sure to conveniently be where the other would.

 _'but in public, in front of all these monsters, this whole romance thing would be-.._

 _'nah, with undyne back, it probably won't matter for much longer..'_ Yet his mind couldn't convince an unconscious feeling away that had already been planted.

/-/

"Where's the shorter, lazier half of you?"

"MY SHADOW..?"

"No, your brother! I've been dying for him to show up so I can show off this killer of a grease pile!"

"OH. HE HAS TO SHOW UP SOMETIME IF YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THAT MUCH-" poorly masked shiver, "- _GREASE_. HEY! WHY DON'T WE PRACTICE YOUR MONOLOGUE FOR WHEN HE DOES!"

"Because that's lame!" Undyne shouted, only to go near-silent afterwords in search of a perfect monologue when she remembered she forgot to practice in private.

The skeleton went downcast.

Left alone without his friendly distraction. (Minus the few violent words she got in at random well he babbled about things not on his mind.)

He was able to fester his deep concerns that wouldn't go away since the absence of someone he always used to conveniently run in to. He had hoped 'dating' wouldn't change things between them..

This anything-but cheery skeleton wasn't ignored for long by two white, peering irises.

/-/

The snow lost most of its crunch since the morning, and Papyrus's snow Papyruses hadn't held up too well. Exception being the one built the furthest away from the "playful" little monsters. A light-hearted scoff paired with a smile left his mouth at the new addition beside his; a tiny mound of snow with Sans name written all over it. Or at least written once in big, red letters. The effort put into it really showed.

Happy enough to know his legacy would live on through at least one snow-skeleton, he left for home.

Something didn't feel right, though, and it was emitting through their door.. He opened it.

"welcome home, 'bro'friend." Sans stood to greet him. ... That's what was off.

"SANS, WHAT IS THIS? IT'S.. SURPRISING." Surprising like the special spaghetti dinner Papyrus made yesterday.

"isn't it? i spent all day setting it up," a successful lie, "if you haven't 'guest', it's a date, so take a seat."

"UHH, REALLY?"

"yeah, be my _guest_ ," Sans replied cooly, already seated himself.

"ALRIGHT. THIS IS JUST SUCH A SHOCK THAT YOU WOULD PUT EFFORT INTO SOMETHING SO- WAIT, WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER.. WAS THAT A PUN!?"

Sideways glance.

"SANS!" But Papyrus was broken. He wasn't even ashamed of the grin plastered on his own face because _Sans was here and things felt back to normal_. Aside from what they were currently partaking in. Which was a confirmed date, very unlike the previous dinners they'd eat alone at their own time. And the food looked suspiciously like leftovers from Grillby's.

 _'WAIT.. GRILLBY'S IS HIS FAVORITE PLACE! DOES THAT MEAN THIS IS.. S-SPECIAL!?'_

"someone wants the _special_ treatment." Papyrus, already worked up, gasped with protruding eyes at the apparent mind-reading. Only for Sans to walk over and pull out the chair for the other, "better?"

"OH," he relaxed, "BETTER." ' _SEEMS HE HASN'T MASTERED MIND-READING YET.'_

Both seated, they spared some attention for their dinner.

"SANS, WHAT ARE THESE PACKETS?"

Picking up one of his own, it was torn open with experienced ease. Sans licked at the red condiment that slipped out, "ketchup."

"'KETCHUP'.."

"it's not any different from the stuff i have every day. try some."

"SEEMS APPROPRIATE ENOUGH." With inexperienced hands, Papyrus managed to only keep half of the packet's contents inside. The rest ended up on the table, on his dinner of leftovers, his costume, his face.. It no longer seemed appropriate when Papyrus cleaned some of the thick liquid off himself by swiping it with his finger, then sucking on it with a gentle hum..

"well," he discreetly gulped back whatever sensation Papyrus was bringing out of him, "why don't we 'ketchup' on each other's day?"

/-/

 **End Note:** Ehh? Ehh? What do you think, Guest?

(Ps, First Reviewer, you have my heart. Second and third.. You can have some other important organs. Thank you all for the reviews!)

I realized I -for whatever reason- had reviews stuck on needing approval. So thank you as well, you other, wonderful Guest! Have a kidney! And I'll see where that can fit in. Looks like Sans will have a lot on his mind. And it's all about Papyrus, because that is why we're all reading this. Me included.


	5. Grossly Goopy

/Chapter 5 - Grossly Goopy/

A fire was lit in Papyrus' eye, "OF COURSE! IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR DAY LACKED SOMETHING THAT ONLY I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, COULD BRING TO IT! DON'T CRY BECAUSE YOU MISSED ME! I'LL JUST MAKE SURE TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU MISSED!" He brought his hand passionately to his chest, smirk as wide as ever until he realized his costume was grossly goopy with ketchup, "AFTER I CHANGE INTO MY OTHER BATTLE BODY! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Then he was off from their second date to his room.

Loud crashes rang from upstairs, accompanied by Papyrus' voice, and more chaos, "THIS IS MY ONLY BATTLE BODY?!" More chaos than usual, that is.

 _'sounds like undyne's violent streak is starting to rub off on him.. huh.'_ He suddenly couldn't decide how to feel about that, having a quickly regretful reminder of Undyne. As a doting brother, he might have been concerned about the violent influence (or laugh it off), but his head couldn't wrap itself around anything other than that same unconscious feeling he had when he thought of her return earlier. Sans was droned in to it with Papyrus dismantling his room as background noise.

 _'so it's only a matter of time before he's no longer lonely, and no longer wants these dine-and-dash dates._

 _'.. but we haven't actually been dating. geez, am i the lonely one? to consider such a silly crush._

 _'it would be weird to actually date papyrus.'_

One long, sickening connection of things he assumed were unrelated unraveled smoothly.

 _'.. to.. actually._

 _'to date..'_

The unconscious thought had bloomed.

"I WON'T KEEP YOU WAITING LONG! I SECRETLY ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP PLAN! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

 _'that's silly, right?'_

"SEE!" the door slammed open, "I ALWAYS WEAR MY SPECIAL CLOTHES UNDERNEATH!

"...

"SANS?" Papyrus walked down the stairs. Stood right in front of him. Shook his hand in front of his eyes.

Oh. He tried to pretend his mind wasn't being slowly consumed by that giddy notion. "nice."

"WHAT IS?"

"your clothes."

Instant blush, "W-WELL! SINCE IT IS YOUR FIRST TIME SEEING MY SECRET STYLE, IT MUST BE HARD _NOT_ TO STARE SO INTENSELY AS YOU ARE!"

That made a decent explanation. Papyrus could shoot down any growing sense that Sans was acting a little odd since it was obviously because his show-stopping garb ("cool dude" shirt, backwards cap; you know the drill). In fact, he himself was acted a little odd the last few days, too, so, _'IT'S PROBABLY THIS WEATHER WE'RE HAVING!'._

Instead, Papyrus' skeleton-grin reappeared from their previous conversation, "ARE YOU READY NOW TO BE HIT WITH SOMETHING SO SUSPENSEFUL, AWE-INSPIRING, AND COOL THAT IT CAN ONLY BE THE DAY OF ONE SO GREAT AS ME?" Right, they hadn't seen each other all day to the point where it must have been distressing to the other as well.

"hit me with it," Sans only managed after a few seconds of stupid confusion.

/-/

It was tricky to be as involved with Papyrus' stories as he put up a front to be. It was never this difficult.

"-AND IT WAS RUINED AGAIN BY THAT DARN DOG! THOUGH I SWEAR I SAW THAT FLOWER THERE-"

His attention spanned fragments at most. (But he still managed to sneak into Papyrus' dialogue, "you don't think the flower 'soiled' it, do you.")

Not a minute passed and Sans' mind was back onto the no longer ignorable feeling. It was kept alive and strong by all the doubt it brought.

Was he thirsting for someone oblivious of who, or was it now completely connected to Papyrus? If they were an item, what more would they do? Would it even be acceptable to want such a thing?

"NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE GREAT SANS'S DAY."

"great sans's day?"

"THAT'S YOU."

"i see," _'when did he finish talking..? and'_ "... was that a compliment?"

"YES?"

 _'that's rare. how much does it mean, though..'_ The possibility that Papyrus would sincerely want to date him (and that Sans just might sincerely want to date him) played in his mind only to be pushed forcibly out every time it did. Only to return to haunt him. _'but this is all make-belief, i couldn't actually- he couldn't actually-..'_

A nervous sigh was the first sound after a minute of nothing, "SANS, YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO MAKE A PUN. SOMETHING MUST BE TROUBLING YOU. AS YOUR-.."

"'bro'friend?"

"UHH.."

"significant 'br'other?"

"...

"GOD, SANS, THE PUNS AREN'T ALL THAT'S MISSING! AS SOMEONE WHO CARES DEEPLY ABOUT YOU, I CAN'T LET THIS BE AS IF IT'S NOTHING! YOU HAVE TO LET ME KNOW WHAT'S WRONG! IS IT OUR-..

" _-RELATIONSHIP?_ " The word left in a strain. A question with so much weight behind the fear growing in Papyrus. Not only "romantically", but for their relationship that would always come before any other. Sans may have been working to put their abandoned dinner together all day, but what was it now that made him so disconnected?

"..."

Sans didn't know. He didn't know what to do with the squeezing his heart was put through at the sight of a worried, scared, and non-cheerful Papyrus. For the second time this day..

".. i don't like to see you so down. come on. i promise it will sort itself out-" lightbulb, "-if you make some spaghetti."

".. SPAGHETTI?"

"yes."

"THAT'S _ALL_ THIS WAS ABOUT?"

Sideways glance, "yes." Sort of. It was definitely the solution he saw coming.

Papyrus let out a relaxed smile (after expressing his anger for the scare Sans gave him over spaghetti), similar to the ones that had been missed while his mind wasn't on Papyrus's story of the day.

He remembered why he liked encouraging Papyrus to gloat. He loved his smile.

/-/

 **End Note:** There's not too much to say on the chapter other than the Grillby's leftovers that took all day to put together are forgotten now.. Sorry Sans.

But other than the chapter, I want to mention GreaterThanLessDoge's fanfiction! ("Saving Sans")! We all need more Skelebro love! (The first two uploads have my two favorite characters, and they are so dang perfect :heart:)

Reviewers! Thanks : ] And Guest in particular! I know, right? I've never even shipped incest before, but this pair have been a real 'game' changer.

(Oh gee I keep extending this note. But hopefully this chapter does what I said would be on Sans mind. Basically, other Guest, Sans never actually considered them 'dating' as dating since he thought it was "a silly crush". Which would disappear when Undyne came back. Which she is now as of last chapter.)


	6. Spaghetti Suave

**Author Note:** I'm putting together a master pun list to make sure you get your puns at the optimal time. So proud that most just came to mind. I tell ya, I'm being watched over by a guardi'pun' angel.

Ooh, I better write that one down!

/Chapter 6 - Spaghetti Suave/

The plan was working. Papyrus was putting the elements to settle this together. And no cards needed to be pulled to get the skeleton bustling in the kitchen. Now, step two:

"you okay with sharing a plate?" Sans had to raise his voice slightly to be heard from his seat.

Papyrus didn't need to raise his, "I'M NOT PARTICULARLY AGAINST IT, BUT WHAT FOR? IT'S SORT OF LIKE SHARING GERMS.." A gasp stilled the only sense Sans had of what Papyrus was doing. Some inner dialogue must have happened, "B-BUT THAT'S ALRIGHT! THE GREAT PAPYRUS EXCELS AT DATING, SO ROMANTIC GERM-SHARING IS NO PROBLEM!" The movements resumed with more vigor.

"seems like you didn't need to contem'plate' that for long."

"I AM NOT SMILING AT THAT PUN."

"then what's that upside-down frown doing on your face?"

"YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE MY FACE FROM THE LIVING ROOM! SO YOU KNOW, I HAVE A PERFECTLY NORMAL FROWN!" For emphasis, he jutted his hip to his un-busy hand, "HMMPH!"ed, and continued to stir the spaghetti (to show he wasn't letting the pun get to him).

In truth, the stupid puns were getting to him in the worst way possible; the way Sans wanted them to. Nonetheless, it was a welcome distraction up to the moment Papyrus reached for two plates for his al _bern_ te spaghetti. He took only one. Still, he couldn't lift a foot from the kitchen floor.

"ARTISAN S-SPAGHETTI IS READY!" Though it wasn't his proudest cooking.

"the table is ready for whenever you want to bring it over. i even found the trivet. i 'pun'der what it was doing in the garbage.."

Papyrus shrieked and ran in (plate of spaghetti in arms) to meet the offensive object, true to his brother's words, "SANS? WHY! WHY WOULD YOU TAKE IT OUT OF THE GARBAGE, THEN PUT IT ON THE TABLE? _PUT IT BACK WHERE IT'S SAFE!_ "

"alright, alright." _'don't want to wear him thin over something so 'trivet'al.'_

Of course, that pun had a memory with it (chapter 2, in case you forgot).. He allowed himself to think about it during the short walk to the garbage can, holding the trivet for the last time.

His hand found its way around the little pun book in his pocket after Papyrus invited him back to the table. ( _Someone_ had a thing against trivet puns).

"SAFE AND SOUND!"

"if you say so.."

As he sat down again, he wondered how many times he fiddled with the book. Despite wanting to keep it perfect, it was covered in tons of little, permanent creases.

He picked up a fork to twirl around the spaghetti. Papyrus gracefully took it as permission to stuff his own face.

 _'could i let myself back down at this point..? i've probably put her aside long enough._

 _'papyrus would still be happy. undyne's back. if i did, theoretically, decide to be the one to break off the relationship..'_

It could have been imagined, but a "NYEH HEH HEH.." randomly came from Papyrus sometime between his devouring of the acclaimed artisan spaghetti.

 _'but that wouldn't get rid of that thought, would it. i have no where to back down to._

 _'not until i know what it's like to actually date papyrus.'_

His twirling fork caught one of the same noodles Papyrus had on his. Now Sans just needed to get his spaghetti suave on. Step 3:

Sans had seen that scene many times. The dogs seated before one plate of spaghetti, the mood being set by the humans. Papyrus giggling like a school girl as they unknowingly held the same noodle. Then after they'd kiss, he'd play it over again. Papyrus watched that scene relentlessly since Undyne lent it to him. She might as well have given the movie to him since he watched it more times than Undyne could ever tolerate in two lifetimes. But she'd made him promise to give it back. It was a gift to her from _someone special._ (Need the name even be mentioned?)

And now it was a gift to Sans. Using the knowledge that'd been scratched over and over into his mind (it'd sometimes pop up in his dreams for some weird reason) he was going to kiss his brother.

/-/

 **End Note:** Heh.. heh... No one knows how hyped I am to include this _one scene_ in the next chapter. Hint: it's not a kiss.


	7. Slightly Shaking

**Author Note:** Should I mention the spaghetti kiss is owned by _Lady and the Tramp_? It does not belong to me.

Though it just _might_ be included in this chapter.. *eyebrow dance*

And before I forget to thank everyone for the reviews: Thanks! Have my organs!

/Chapter 7 - Slightly Shaking/

Closer, closer.

His heart was beating loudly, not unlike an anime girl's.

He had planned this. Had moved the chairs so they were side by side. _Within kissing distance_.

As soon as the fork reached his mouth, _he was going to kiss his brother!_

Whether he decided to anticipate it with butterflies or flat-out nothing was lost as Papyrus slurped up the noodle.

Sans could only stare at the missed moment, from his empty fork to the other's face. It was in that stare he noticed the spaghetti sauce that got on Papyrus' chin. Easy fix. He would reach over, says something like "You've got a little something on your face", then, creating an intimate moment, go in for the kiss. Maybe less romantic..

Wasn't the point just to get the kiss anyways?

But the next second Papyrus had as much sauce as possible around his mouth. There was no way to create an intimate moment with that much sauce.

"need a napkin, bro?"

The table was bumped with a sudden jump, as if Sans was convicting someone of something by breaking the unknowingly edgy silence. "I'D LOVE ONE PLATONICALLY, 'B-BRO'FRIEND! BUT! IF I LOVED A NAPKIN ROMANTICALLY, THERE IS NO WAY I'D BE KEEPING A SECRET FROM IT!"

It wasn't a reassuring smile after those foreshadowing words. _'he'll spill it eventually... whatever that's about.'_ So Sans let it go. "i hope you know i don't love you 'plate'onically."

It was meant to be a little fun jab at Papyrus using Sans' favorite mashup of "bro" and "boyfriend", but it got a guilty look from him.

Alright, maybe he should find out what "secret" Papyrus had before anything else.

"i love you."

No guilty reaction.

"not 'plate'onic-"

"IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE, I DIDN'T THINK HE'D _EAT_ THEM! WHEN I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT MY DAY, YOU DIDN'T LOOK LIKE YOURSELF, SO I LEFT IT OUT!

"WHEN THE DUST CLEARED, ALL THAT HAD SURVIVED WAS THE ONE PLATE WE'RE SHARING COINCIDENTALLY, AS IF BY SOME SICK FATE! .. IT FELT WRONG, BUT I LET YOU BELIEVE ALL OUR PLATES WERE STILL INTACT! (*I ALMOST GOT AWAY WITH IT, TOO.)

"AND NOW, I'VE ONLY MADE THE REVEAL THAT MORE HARDER TO TAKE..

"I FORGAVE HIM.. COULD YOU?" As if to help Sans make the morally right choice, a quick "HE'S JUST A FLOWER" came soon after.

"wow... that flower sure was despe'root' to eat plates."

No disappointment. Evidently Papyrus was still worried if the flower was on Sans bad list.

"tell your little friend i forgive him.

"now, wipe your face off and put a smile back on it," He chuckled, handing his sauce-faced brother a white cloth from his pocket.

"WOWIE! WILL DO!"

Louder chuckle.

"..?"

Not-stopping-anytime-soon chuckle.

"YES, SANS..?"

"hey, bro.. that's not a napkin." In that moment, Sans thanked his teleportation ability hundreds of times over. The look as he unfurled the saucy white cloth to see that it was Papyrus' own underwear was priceless.

"..."

Papyrus was speechless.

"..."

Sans was still chuckling.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE THIS IN YOUR POCKET..?"

And then Sans was mortified.

He couldn't explain that he could literally reach into his pockets and pull anything out with his magic powers without it sounding like a horrible excuse. So he shrugged his shoulders.

"..."

"...

"SANS, I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL ASHAMED.. ESPECIALLY SINCE IT'S NOT OVER A PUN. I'M SURE YOU HAVE A REASON FOR THIS!

"BUT STILL, YOU HAD NO REASON TO STEAL. ASK NICELY NEXT TIME," He handed the ruined underwear back to Sans who wouldn't remember putting it back in his pocket later, "AND EAT THE BLASTED SPAGHETTI ALREADY! IT'S NOT AT ITS BEST ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU TOOK TOO LONG!"

That said, the awkwardness (which was becoming more frequent since chapter 1) was cut in half (for the time being).

And Sans' silly crush didn't seem so out of the blue anymore. He was reminded that the other blue-magic user had an incredible capacity for mercy; an incredible quality. Though one that would be worrying if shown to a murderous kid. Still, there was no 'kid'ding around now. Sans had to get to the bottom of this horribly wonderful desire that _refused to die_. (Much like a murderous kid with DETERMINATION.)

"i'm sure it'll still taste very arti'sans'."

 _'I WAS WONDERING WHEN HE WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT PUN..'_ "THERE'S NO 'SANS' IN WAITING TO TRY IT THEN."

"true enough."

So Sans finally brought a fork full of spaghetti to his mouth.

He'd regret distracting the creator of the burnt, mushy pasta for the rest of his life.

"you put a lot of love into this batch" _'and hatred for puns.'_

"THANKS! WOWIE, SANS, I WAS WORRIED ABOUT IT TASTING BAD FOR NOTHING!"

A giddy skeleton went back to enjoying the 'food' from their shared plate. Thankfully for Sans, the underwear scene seemed so long forgotten (but only by Papyrus).

Suddenly, a flustered look broke out onto Papyrus. Not-so coincidentally when he'd glanced to the left of him where a certain skeleton sat (still trying to stomach the noodles cooked with love). To his own fork. "OH. MY GOD."

Sans raised an eyebrow, surely missing something, but turned away when his outdated CD player started playing from his room. Whatever was causing the suspiciously amorous music got his immediate attention over his reddening brother.

 _'IT'S JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES!'_ Papyrus inwardly squealed, captured in the moment. He couldn't refuse it, moving without a beat to take a bite of the noodles. Then another.

Then Sans, like movie magic, sort of resumed nibbling on the inedible strands. He didn't question it (or look away from his suspicious room) when the noodles required him to turn his head to continue half-heartedly eating.

After all, there was a good chance he'd need his eye sockets peeled because _something_ had to have put that music on that he didn't even remember ownin-

Clank.

 _'OHH-..'_

 _'papyrus..?'_

 _'I FORGOT SKELETONS CAN'T KISS.. WOW.'_

 _Blank mind._

After hesitation, arms lead by slightly shaking hands wrapped firmly around Papyrus. Not tight to the point where he couldn't just stand up and walk right out of the room. But he didn't move an inch. Until he wasn't sure why, but he opened his mouth, and Sans opened his. Then Papyrus melted into the-.. _kiss?_

He couldn't have been sure what it'd be considered. It ended in the next second.

"you okay, bro?"

Sans was supporting his brother. He'd gone as flimsy as a noodle. The only thing that the taller skeleton noticed, however, was the concern _and something else_ behind that stare.

"I, UHH, YEAH. THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN HANDLE YOUR ROMANTIC ENDEAVOURS! I'M JUST.. GREAT(?)!"

The blush pooling beneath Papyrus' slightly dazed eyes (and unwittingly his own) brought a wicked grin, "then can you 'hand'le this?" He snatched up his hand.

"WOWIE!? UHH, T-THAT'S- ISN'T IT KIND OF TOO NERVOUS IN HERE TO BE H-HOLDING HANDS, OR IS THAT JUST- UHH..

"..

"-JUST GREAT." He whispered, shocking himself with how comfortable he found the warmth shared between their hands.

/-/

*Papyrus "NYEH HEH HEH"ed in the last chapter because he thought he got away with it.

 **End Note:** I'm sorry that I laughed at how this is the second time I've reference genocide route Frisk (chapter 4). But there's no need to be nervous about that : ]

Oh yeah, the hype I was talking about was for the saucy underwear bit. If "saucy underwear" had both words starting with the same letter, that would have been the chapter title, no buts.

But alas.


	8. Progressively Passionate

**Author Note:** Heh... heh.. Can skeletons even have warm bodies?

Isn't it funny how "some liberties have been taken" means I get excused for everything I did wrong..

/Chapter 8 - Progressively Passionate/

Sans winked, new thought, new plan, coming to light, "i'd like a ride in your race car."

"REALLY!? THIS DAY KEEPS GETTING WEIRDER AND WEIRDER. BUT IN A GOOD WAY! LET'S NOT WASTE ANY TIME!" Papyrus hastily lugged Sans by the hand. The skeleton's door was slammed open, then slammed shut. It had only taken a millisecond to get there from the living room.

"someone's got ants in the pants."

"I'VE DREAMED ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG! WE'RE BOTH IN A CAR, SUN ON OUR SKIN, WIND IN OUR HAIR-" he choked on his words a little, seeing the growing grin, "I MEAN, THAT'S JUST A DREAM! THAT... YOU'RE IN.. NYEH HEH.. HEH.."

"sounds like a good one.

"for now, let's both just be in a car."

The joy resurfaced in Papyrus, but the red stayed around his face as the shorter jumped into his bed and motioned for him, "SANS, ARE WE GOING TO CUDDLE?"

"no," pause, "we're going to wrestle." And he pulled Papyrus in by the hand.

Almost immediately, he was tackled down, flipped over, tickled "THAT'S CHEATING!", and generally _tousled_ around. (Pause here for as long as you want them to wrestle.)

 _Pant. Pant._ "feeling 'bonetrousle'd?"

"DON'T BE MAKING PUN O-" _pant_ , "-OF MY MUSIC!"

Given his exercised body, that's all the skeleton got out, though there was undoubtedly more to be said in his head. Lying on his back, he settled for the next best thing; slamming his forearms, hands up, to make some kind of pouty racket to distract from his non-frowning face.

"i'm not. it's a good song." This silenced the tantrum. Sans sat up from his resting space beside his brother. Without a reason, he almost laid himself on top of Papyrus, distanced only by his arms and legs that held him slightly above. Naturally, their hands interlaced. The moment in which they looked at each other was long enough to ease their breathing.

"far cooler than this cheesy track." The music _was_ still playing.

Any pride that bubbled up at the praise was left unspoken, as well as any growing want, "SHOULD SOMEONE INVESTIGATE THAT..?"

"nah."

"SANS! DON'T SLACK OFF SO MUCH!"

"but i want to slack off with you."

The words had a very evident effect on Papyrus. They straightened his spine and got his full attention. They lured out a very unsure side that didn't hide desire well. Sans brought their foreheads together to-

 _Fffffffrrrrrrrpppp_.

"heh heh, the old whoopie cushion on the forehead. i've been waiting to try it out for awhile now."

"WELL! NOW THAT YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN, ONE OF US SHOULD FIND THE SOURCE OF THIS MUSIC THAT-.. _MAKES ME STRANGELY WANT TO KISS_."

But neither moved at the hint. "kiss? can skeletons do that?"

"OH MY GOD, I DON'T KNOW!" Papyrus brashly clanked their teeth together with an opening mouth with enough force to knock the whoopie cushion out of the picture. (It made one last toot before it was forgotten.) Sans more than happily returned the motion the instant it felt consented, skillful for someone who was so 'oblivious', and lively for someone so lazy.

Their eye sockets were closed. Sight wasn't needed to _feel_ the other, despite their hands restrained by themselves. And it wasn't needed to hear the little noises, or taste the horrible spaghetti that indirectly started this.

Sans almost jumped out of his skin(?) at a sensation lower down. His eyes didn't need to look at what he already knew, but he needed confirmation;

Papyrus _had_ wrapped his long legs around his hips. His face heated up, wondering how much of him could be felt.

Probably not a lot because of Papyrus' lower armor. At the insistence of those progressively passionate kisses, he unhooked their hands to remove the defences.

It got a gasp from Papyrus the second his clothes weren't in their proper places. Which got a confused look from Sans. That was a "What are you doing" kind of gasp..

"S-SANS?" The other backed up so Papyrus could untangle his legs, readjust his armor, and sit up, too.

"sorry, didn't mean to rattle your bones.

"it's getting late. want to take a nap now, bro?"

Papyrus convinced himself that he just imagined that something else could have happened.

"THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS PLEASANT.

".. WAIT..

"YOU'RE JUST BEING TOO LAZY TO GO TO YOUR OWN BED! YOU CAN'T HIDE THAT!

"BUT! THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL ALLOW IT!"

It was a very open invitation for cuddles. Sans more than happily let himself get the suffocating death grip Papyrus' old stuffed creatures used to be put through every night. His attacks were pretty controlled, so the chances of Sans being dusted were low.

"you know, i have something in my pocket." By luck he didn't reach into the same pocket something _saucy_ had been put into earlier. (Relax, it's just Papyrus' underwear.)

"OH NO, IT COULDN'T BE," but that smile meant Papyrus knew what was up.

 _Peek-a-Boo With Fluffy Bunny_.

".. THAT'S ALSO A GOOD BOOK!"

Sans reached around in his pocket again.

 _Ducktective: The Hardboiled Egg Case_.

He beamed.

Sans decided not to tell him "Ducktective" was a play on words.

/-/

Soon, only one monster was awake. In Papyrus' room, that is. He'd waited to check out the noise because, well, he wasn't that much of a slacker to risk _this_ , but he was still a slacker. Cut him some slack.

Before leaving the death embrace..

Sans _did_ have a marker in his pocket. (Or more like Portal Of Convenient/Kinky/Etc Things.)

 _'no 'clown'ing around now.'_

But that was only put into action after he finished doodling the makeup coined as a young child's nightmare.

/-/

"Ducktective" is a Gravity Falls thing.

 **End Note:** .. Maybe I just want this to be Undertale Wrestling, okay. Those aren't the real questions in life, so don't question all the sweaty, bone on bone action.

Thank you, reviewers! Like, ps, you rock my socks.


	9. Much More

**Author Note:**

So I've decided to write the alternative (where Sans is the bottom), but it's going to be posted on _Archive Of Our Own_ because the only big change is the M and MA kind of things. It'll be posted whenever 'things' start to be put into place. If ya catch my innuendo ; ]

 **Conjured dick:** 4 (this includes ghost dicks and such)

 **Phantom skin:** 2

 **Either:** 4

This one is kind of split half and half.. It'd be 4:3 if I count my own vote. So I'm interested in reaching a compromise.

 **EDIT: Sorry, voting closed.**

PHANTOM SKIN is a thin layer of slightly cold, pure white, never wrinkling (but not a vampy, y'know) "skin" that forms mostly to skeletons' bone structure to give them a slightly cartoonish look. Which just means smooth and slightly less "detailed" than an actual human skeleton. This allows them to close their eyes without defying the laws of bones. The "skin" pretty well also gives them "phantom/ghost dicks", the main difference being that that's all in place 24/7 instead of being summoned. They also have tentacle tongues for reasons.. But despite all this, no nipples (That's too spooky).  
Skeletons have things like monster organs (no need to get into specifics, but it's just the monster equivalent to organs. The big reason for this is because it feels too alienating to make them the only monsters without them.)  
What makes this magical? Weeeeell. Magic is sort of like blood in that it courses throughout them, and is very much present during a sexy "wrestle" in the sheets. It'll also be incorporated in deferent ways, so be prepared for magic~

/Chapter 9 - Much More/

If fear was a thing people should feel in this situation, then it would be important to note that Sans was a monster, therefore not a person. Therefore not afraid.

So he opened the door to his dusty, messy, cluttered, horrendous room. And his face didn't change from his "smile" when a little human created a muted crash from the pile of socks.

"this isn't a good way to introduce yourself."

The human had calmed quickly from the jostle Sans gave them. They nodded, then dusted themself off. Acting as if they weren't just playing in the pile while-.. waiting?

"well, the name is sans.

"hope you found what you were looking for." At this point, it was best just to pretend that 1. this wasn't as suspicious of a crime as it was, and 2. he didn't know for a fact that the kid was playing with dirty socks. He'd assess the damage after. Smartly.

"heh.. maybe you wouldn't mind stopping by _later in the morning?_ you'd make my brother's day. he's always wanted to see a human."

They didn't budge. One thing Sans noticed was how small they were. A kid.

"come on, give him at least a 'femur' hours of sleep, kid."

"..."

They told Sans they wanted some spaghetti.

"alright. .. whoops, looks like the spaghetti chef is sleeping."

They pointed at Sans. Their gaze and finger would not budge.

"heh heh, i see your 'point'.

"alright. you've convinced me. but you can't talk about it, especially if you try papyrus' spaghetti. i wouldn't want to be labelled as second best."

Yes... on a critical observation, they were just a kid. A human, but a kid. Like the ones the lady behind the wall talked merrily about teaching, but also what Papyrus had been inspired to capture. There was just no reason to kill the frail creature as it was.

So he lazed down the stairs after them. They were already in the kitchen when his pace only brought him to the last step.

/-/

The lack of winks was starting to catch up to Sans. This had no affect on the kid's judging, however. When they'd take a little taste of the slightly off pasta, they seemed to take it to heart. It was finally on the third plate that it was deemed decent enough for the kid to nod after the bite.

 _'great.'_ Non-sarcastically.

The kid had met something in the third that satisfied something enough because they left in that timeframe with a look of contentment.

 _'even better.'_ Not that he could be certain that was the look of contentment, it was good enough for Sans.

The cause of the noise taken care of, it was a relief on his tired sockets to be back in bed. Nothing stopped him from relaxing in the crushing cuddle and slipping off to sleep.

It had been a beautiful day. Even if he'd still feel wrong being this close to Papyrus in public, he could at least enjoy it now with some peace of mind. Even if it didn't go any further, it still felt amazing. Even if Papyrus wanted to break it off sooner than later.

But he couldn't have been the only one to feel the chemistry when it was Papyrus who initiated the next lip(?)lock. Even if it was such a che'mystery' still. Did there need to be a logical explanation to everything..?

Yes.

His mind would definitely pester him about the logic later.

/-/

Papyrus woke up first.

But that's how it usually was every day anyways.

And he'd usually be up long enough to top up their spaghetti quantity. Now that routine was thrown out of order- someone had left some already made on the counter. (Probably not food safe, but what do they care, those monsters.)

 _'W-WOWIE!? DID SANS LEAVE THIS HERE?.. OR WAS IT THE NEW TENANT(?) IN SANS' ROOM..._

 _'-SOMEONE- IS TRYING TO IMPRESS ME, AND IT'S WORKING!'_

He giddily took a fork, twirled the strands onto it, then took the bite that would open his eyes. (Quite literally: they were protruding in shock.)

 _'THIS SPAGHETTI.. IS BEAUTIFUL! IT'S TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD, TOO PURE! IT HAS THE TASTE OF LOVE THAT ONLY SOMEONE SO TRAGICALLY, AND DEEPLY IN LOVE COULD MAKE.'_

Only one person he knew fit that bill. Sans: far past crushing on him, his brother was doomed to a prison of passion that had no key. Which was tragic since Papyrus hadn't been so honest with his feelings.

But if Sans made it, _'HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BRO-ZONE SUCH A MASTERFUL CREATOR?! HE'S MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS!_

 _'WHY, HE'S-HE'S-'_

The room started to meld in on itself as the skeleton's mind delved into heart-racing glimpses of the last two days- and further back. Sans' genuine smiles and his lightly sweaty hands, and his puns (unfortunately) started to mean so much more.

The music was no longer influencing him with it's romantic tone, yet he still wanted to feel close to Sans. _Really close._ And do the things only couples did.

Like hold hands and kiss.

That must have been a "naughty" thought, because he felt a weird sensation in his stomach. (It was actually butterflies..)

8==D

 **End Note:** I don't think I have enough organs for all those reviews, geez~ *heart would be displayed here if I didn't give it away*

(For anyone just reading this, you missed out on the gr8 dick deb8)


	10. Golly Gosh

**Author Note:** Some ships will be sprinkled on the side somewhere in this fic. Not sure when, but just a friendly warning since I've mostly got the plot planned out now. And it's taken quite a big leap from what was originally intended..

Well, to avoid spoilers, I'll only announce the other major ship after some events.

I am very much questioning if this sudden plot inspiration is too much for one fic about incestuous skeletons.

 **The note is in bold to differentiate it from speech.**

/Chapter 10 - Golly Gosh/

Morning, at a reasonable hour. He woke up with only a cluster of sticky-notes by his side. No human or Papyrus. Well, for once it wasn't a chastise about socks. Rather, there were praises that Sans couldn't recall the occasion for..

 **"MANY WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEX FEELINGS I AM ABOUT TO EXPRESS. BUT SOMEONE LIKE YOU WOULD."**

 **"SOMEONE WHO'S SMART, INTELLIGENT, UNRIVALLED,** ** _COOL_** **!"**

It brought some color to his face the further down the notes he read. What did he do that made Papyrus so flattering..?

 **"YOU POSSESS INCREDIBLE ATTRIBUTES I WAS NOT PREPARED TO SEE IN ANOTHER. SANS, THIS FEELING I HAVE.."**

 **"IS BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER WHO CAN MAKE PUNS TOLERABLE, OR MAKE A ROMANTIC DINNER OUT OF GREASY FOOD, OR MAKE ME AS HAPPY AS I AM,"** confusingly enough, Papyrus had squished **"SPAGHETTI"** in the leftover space.

 **"I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I HAVE A 'BRO'NER AND I LOVE-"** ... **"IT"**? Or **"HIM"**. The last part didn't get a chance to dry before being manhandled, evidentially. (It was in pen. You know that feel when it smudges? Sucks, bro.)

 **"I'LL BE OUT FOR A BIT."** and in a near undecipherable scrawl, **"SEE YOU TONIGHT?"** As they did every night. But the shakiness and smudginess promised something different from usual.

Welp, the only thing Sans could put into words was the astonishment he had for that pun and their planned meet up, _'but this is papyrus, it couldn't be exactly what it looks like.'_

Other than that, he had.. indescribable warm-fuzzies?

His stomach growled. The writer compared the longing his stomach had for food to the longing he had for someone. Except Papyrus wasn't edible. Except by cannibalism. Or in another sense Sans refused to think about for fear it wouldn't wilt away after getting into his head.

It would be better, instead, to put his head to work on the mash of things that happened. Logically:

A strong guilt was avoided when they didn't go further than kissing and cuddling with a kid in the next room like horrible parents.

.. Not that he'd originally intended to.

It was only meant to be a "test" on whether Papyrus actually wanted this. But _logically_ there was a big flaw. If it was by Papyrus's free will, would it have had to been in a situation where their bodies were practically against each other, and their magic was already racing from a well-fought tousle?

.. Did Papyrus understand the desire during that time? Or any further desires that would undoubtedly come as the taboo stopped mattering. Lustful thoughts that he only became aware were invading his head _currently_. Maybe because he couldn't stop thinking about "tonight"..

This time it sounded as if his stomach was growling at him for harboring perverse thoughts about someone so innocent. Thought switch time.

How did the kid get into his room? Of course, they could have chosen the day Sans distracted Papyrus of both their human-watch duties to sneak past. That was sound enough. But just what were the capabilities of DETERMINATION if the human kid was the first other than Sans to have gotten in. Well, _other_ than Papyrus, but he gave him the key-

Which Papyrus either lost, or forgot to use again to lock the door.

 _'... i'm an idiot. such a simple answer..'_

Still, how long was that kid waiting in there? Was that even important..? Was it important to note the music they decided to play...?

 _'...'_

 _Growl._

 _'pish posh. my_ _mind_ _isn't clear on an empty stomach.'_

/-/

"Why, howdy, friend! It's been a few days since I've seen that dashing face of your's!"

"IT HAS," automatically, he was in a good mood to see a friend, but Papyrus quickly remembered what he tracked the flower down for, "BUT I'M HERE TO SCOLD YOU FIRST! WE'LL DO GREETINGS LATER!"

"Oh dear, what could I have done?"

" _YOU_ WEREN'T UPFRONT ABOUT EATING THE PLATES, SO YOU _COULD HAVE_ GOTTEN YOURSELF ONTO SANS'S BAD LIST!" Flowey had a (slightly exaggerated) jump at this, "PLEASE THINK ABOUT AND REFLECT ON YOUR ACTIONS!

"EATING PLATES MAY NOT BE SOMETHING THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS MUCH EXPERIENCE DOING, BUT I KNOW YOU CAN BE SAFE ABOUT IT IF YOU TRY, SO TRY TO DO SO NEXT TIME! I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO A SPECIAL FRIEND LIKE YOU."

"Oh golly, will I ever think harder on my actions next time!"

"GREAT! THEN WE CAN GET ON WITH GREETINGS! NYEH HEH HEH!

"HELLO, FLOWERY!"

"Flowey."

".. SORRY, THAT WAS JUST MY ACCENT GETTING IN THE WAY. HELLO!"

Cute little giggle, " _My_ , hello, Papyrus. Boy do you have a nice accent. Does your brother have one, too?"

"S-SANS? I'D HAVE TO ASK HIM!"

"Hmm, speaking of that _cuddly_ skeleton-" "CUDDLY!?" "-how is-.. Why, yes," his smile didn't flinch at the interruption, "Didn't you tell me skeletons were cuddly and full of calcium?

"How is he?"

He scolded himself for immediately thinking the flower would know anything about the cuddling they were doing earlier on. "HE'S STILL LAZY, AND HASN'T LOST HIS BABY FAT." That would have to have meant Flowery was spying on them. Or gossiping!

 _'THE LITTLE FLOWER IS A FRIEND, HE WOULD NEVER!'_

"He must be precious!"

"HUH, WHAT..? PRECIOUS?"

"Cute!"

" _C-CUTE!_ SANS IS AN ADULT!"

Flowey gasped, then took a closer look that suggested he wanted to poke and prod at him. The mischievous glint soon after only made Papyrus more flustered.

"Aww, gee, don't tell me! You're fawning over him, aren't you! The little signs don't get past a love expert like me," wink. "Did he tell you he was going to marry you when he grew up?"

"HE'S ALREADY AN ADULT!"

"Then when will the wedding be?"

"Y-YOU NEED TO GROW UP! OR.. GROW WHICHEVER WAY FLOWERS DO!" Why was the flower suddenly so teasing? And- now suddenly deflating with an apologetic sigh.. Every one of Papyrus's limbs that had been flailing in uncontrolled embarrassment froze up.

"Aww, I'm sorry. I pushed too far. You must be disgusted with me for sincerely mistaking you for being in love with your own brother."

From the golden flower's blue face, Papyrus could only conclude that he was a monster. In the other sense.

"WERE.. YOU REALLY JUST.. CURIOUS?"

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry it was unwarranted.. Little old me just wanted to get nosy, but I stuck my nose where it didn't belong."

"OH NO, _I'M_ SORRY!

"YOU WANTED TO KNOW, RIGHT? I'LL TELL YOU THINGS THEN! H-HE _IS_ CUTE, AND PRECIOUS! AND MAYBE IF WE WERE GETTING MARRIED, IT'D BE ON A SATURDAY!

"RIGHT NOW, THOUGH, I'M JUST DATING SANS! MARRIAGE IS A LITTLE.."

A loud shriek came from behind.

"WHAAAAAAAT!? Papyrus, you two are WHAAT!?"

The shriek didn't make sense until Papyrus turned around to see Undyne throwing a few aggressive poses of disbelief. Then running off.

He'd missed the footsteps that would have warned him that Undyne was conveniently there for the moment (and only the moment) he blatantly put their relationship into words.

"..."

"Gee, she went the wrong way to her house.

"If that's where she was going..

"I guess it was a bad happenstance that we were standing two feet away from her front door. _Gosh._ "

"..."

"You okay, friend?"

Papyrus looked sick. There was no answer to the state of his well-being other than what Flowey could assume, though. " _S-SHOULD I CALL HER!? SHE RAN OFF!_ REALLY AGGRESSIVELY!"

"Aww, what? What will you say to her if you do? If she's a true friend, won't she call you to apologize for being so awfully rude?

"That was rude, right? I can't be the only one thinking it."

The skeleton was frozen in a sorrowful kneel on his knees. Probably trying to come up with an explanatory monologue while the emotions were still fresh. It was a sad sight.

"Golly gosh! Someone needs some TLC!" Flowey popped into the ground to reappear an inch away from him. "Who wants to hug the flower~?"

Papyrus yelled with a tear-streamed face, "I DO!" The crushing hug made Flowey flinch. But he seemed to slightly warm up to it.

"Don't worry, the fish just needs to stop steaming and simmering in her rage. Then she'll call back herself!"

/-/

At some point, the hug got ridiculously long.

 _Brrrrrring bbbbrbrrrrrrringggidingding!_

"Hey, Papyrus, is that your phone?"

".. NYEH.." He said in place of a proper confirmation to the question after fishing his phone out. Flowey wasn't prepared for the secondhand scream that scraped his brain.

" _HEY!_ Papyrus, listen! Stop crying, because this doesn't affect our friendship! We're still good friends!"

"UNDYNE!" Papyrus cried in choked awe.

"ALRIGHT?! BETTER friends than that FLOWER you confided in! Next time, tell me about your love life first! SO I CAN LAUGH AT HOW NERDY IT IS!" And she did laugh.

"YES, SIR! .. BY THE WAY.. CAN I HAVE LEAVE FROM OUR PRACTICE LESSONS TONIGHT?"

"Are you going to spend that time with Sans?"

".. YES."

"HA, YOU NERDS! Have fun!

/.../

"BUT you can't skip a lesson without retribution! So expect something BIG at the next! SEEYAH!" Mutually, they both hung up. Undyne's laughter utterly died down.

"S-sorry... if you felt like you h-had to or something.. I didn't mean to make you feel obliged-.."

"No, stop apologizing! You were right! .. But.. it's going to take awhile to get used to-..

"HA! What am I saying! This is too petty to dwell on! THEY'RE SO LAME, THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!"

".."

"..."

"Undyne.. It's o-okay, I think, to adjust to this new concept slowly."

Mutually, they let the silence hang for awhile after an exhale. Yet it was by no means awkward when Alphys stood up from the chair she kept in her room, and sat beside her guest.

"...

"Alphys... Is this like _that anime?_ "

The mood lit up with the passion of one nerd.

"Y-yes!"

There were suddenly lots of exciting things to discuss.

/-/

/.../ is just meant to be a transition from Papyrus's to Undyne's end.

 **End Note:** Woah. Look at all these non-skeletal characters.

EDIT: Oh no, reviewers! I forgot to say-... YOU ARE AMAZING! It's because of you that thoughts become more than thoughts. They becomes words! On a computer screen!


	11. Faceless Flower

**Author Note:** Bad News Time: Sorry about last chapter~ **Undyne and Alphys were in Alphys's room, not Undyne's.** I've already corrected it, but I can't take back the past... . Unfortunately for anyone who hasn't accepted "phantom skin" into their life, it will be a thing. I haven't gotten any suggestions on a compromise, so 'tis how 'tis.. . This has been Bad News Time with Happy Skeleton Friend. Oh, also this chapter is short. There's stuff I need'ta do in life that's preventing me from writing impressive chapters..

/Chapter 11 - Faceless Flower/

Sans comes over. He sees Papyrus, and they're drawn to each other. Flowey says nothing..

They go home after cute banter, Flowey disappears, and Undyne can finally go back into her house without feeling awkward.

At their home, Sans brings up something Papyrus wrote in specific to break the ice.. "tonight".

Papyrus looks like he was thinking about it, too, and now that it's out in the open, he proceeds to babble in an attempt to ease his own nerves stemming from "tonight". It's not even night, but whatever.

Papyrus said something about their relationship. Or, everything about it, but specifically how he originally just wanted to play along. How he enjoys the cuddles and kisses. And how he wants to take it to the next level. Sans tries to ignore the awful feeling "play along" gives him. That's what he was doing, too, originally..

But, happy that Papyrus seems to know now what Sans had been ridiculously stuck on the thought of, he moves in for the kiss to gently move things along.

But Papyrus turns his head. He says it can wait until after the song.

.. Song?

Papyrus was going to serenade Sans.

That's all "tonight" was.

..

Everything else had been his own wishful thinking.

...

His own, horrible, lustful thinking..

/RELOAD/

Undyne was returning to the laboratory later. Given that she now had an open schedule from Papyrus's bailing, Alpyhs vowed to use that time to fill her in. On what: well, it didn't matter. Seeing the other that passionate was good enough a reason to eagerly anticipate their sleepover. She just had to pick up her pajamas.

As soon as Papyrus and his "friend" left. From her spot she'd stealthily secured behind her house's "tail", she'd be able to wait it out..

"-BUT WHY WOULD DOING THAT BE A GOOD THING?"

" _But Papyrus_ , if I explained things, that would ruin the _magic_." Interesting, the flower had lifted its eyebrows(?) up for the last part. Undyne hadn't been eavesdropping until she felt safely out of view, so clearly she missed some weird conversation (and who knows how many others during the two hours she was at Alphys's)..

"Just know that this is top quality love advice from your friendly love expert!"

"YOU _HAVE_ ASSURED ME OF THAT QUITE A FEW TIMES.. HMM.." _'I MIGHT TRY TO-'_

Sans showed up before that consideration got anywhere.

"hey bro."

He whipped his head back, "H-HI!?" Sans, now in his vision, waved. Breath of relief, "SANS, DON'T GO SNEAKING UP ON PEOPLE. THAT STARTLED ME!"

"my bad." Sans peered over to see it was a flower that Papyrus had been preoccupied with.

"OH! I DON'T THINK YOU TWO MET!"

"care to introduce us?"

"SURE THING! SANS, THIS IS MY FLOWER FRIEND I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT!" Undyne could see Sans's very skeptical look over it.

"THIS IS SANS!" But the flower no longer had a face to see him with. (Which Undyne would have told him was a trick if she wasn't hiding.)

"what's up, buttercup." _'strange, i thought it'd be an echo flower.. he must still have a lively imagination to talk with this thing by himself.'_

The flower said nothing.

"AWW, HE MUST BE SHY!" Papyrus looked awed by the cute little plant, and Sans was awed by that. He didn't feel like ruining the purity of an imaginary friend.

"must be my fault. he probably saw the whoopie cushion in my hand."

"SANS, DID YOU BRING THAT-..!? SANS! HAND IT OVER!" There was authority in his voice, but a playful smile as the other offered up his hand. Which Papyrus played with for a bit before unstrapping the mini cushion, and didn't stop playing with. "PROMISE ME YOU WON'T PRANK HIM." A somewhat reassuring nod. "GREAT! GLAD THAT'S SETTLED!" And the moment settled into a peacefully quiet one. It was as if it was just them two (and to Sans knowledge, it was).. Holding hands, which was already becoming a very fond memory.

"i read your notes."

Red.

"..R-REALLY!? UHH, HUH, THE FACT THAT YOU'RE BRINGING THEM UP NOW, WHAT DOES IT-.. MEAN..?" _'HE'S THINKING ABOUT TONIGHT! OH GOD, TONIGHT! I DON'T KNOW IF I'M MENTALLY PREPARED TO SING YET!'_

"nothing much but a thank you." Oh. There were definitely more notes to come in the future then. Papyrus resumed happily messing with Sans's hand.

"i'm looking forward to 'tonight'." The sly wink was followed by Papyrus's (and Undyne's) wild, wide eyed look, complete with a passionately red face.

 _'HE WAS THINKING ABOUT IT! AND IN FRONT OF-!?'_ "THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE!"

"sorry, i just wanted to embarrass you in front of your friend, 'pun'kin."

"SANS! DON'T USE WEIRD PET NAMES! YOU'LL PUT MORE IDEAS IN HIS HEAD."

" _more?_ "

"WELL, HE WAS TALKING ABOUT STUFF ALREADY!.. THAT I CAN'T SAY."

"then i wonder what that stuff was.." Sans moved a little closer. No, a _lot_ closer, obviously not intimidated by the faceless flower watching.

 _'WHAT?.. This weird, mushy scene is starting to-.. NO WAY!'_

Sans stood on his tippy toes but that didn't do much about their height difference. However, tugging on Papyrus's scarf worked. "mind giving _me_ an idea?"

Undyne's eyes almost burst. _'Are they GOING TO KISS!?'_ It wasn't that she had any foundation of distrust in Papyrus, but to actually confirm their relationship with her near-bursting eyes-

"NO IDEAS IN FRONT OF FLOWERY!"

"Flowey."

(Undyne was strangely disappointed.)

/-/

 **End Note:** _Oh golly_ , thank you, reviewers!

To my "Why" guest in specific: I accept that the content probably goes against lots of people's morals, BUT: 1) It's non-aggressive fiction 2) If a relationship is legal and consensual, who cares anyways 3) I'm just writing for fun, soo... have some fun with me, geez! : ] And, "Why", if you're terrified I'll hold your hand through it~ *wink wonk wank*

M for sure next time~!

(EDIT: One month, 10,143 words. I am happy.)


	12. Hip Hip

**WARNING:** There MAY be some upsetting content. Or I'm just overreacting. Here they are anyways because better safe than sorry. **1.** Slight dub-con (trying not to spoil much, but it's NOT the M part, going no further than touching.) **2.** Angst (there's a good chance you'd have problems too if the object of your affection and sexual tension was a precious cinnamon roll.)

 **TO GUEST:** (Sorry I can't personally message you, but in case anyone else has concerns about the topping and bottoming thing; I see "submissive" and "dominate" different than "topping" and "bottoming". So.. they kind of both get to be submissive and dominate to an extent (Sans will be more dominant in both versions), but I swearsie that's all the flexibility going on.

 **Author Note:** WOWIE! Thanks for reviewing, you exceptional readers! Also! I got permission from JoyceW-Art (Tumblr) to use their artwork for the cover~ Which I'll enact later. The link to their art will be put in the description of the fanfic.

Speaking of Tumblr, the _Lord of Puns, Punishment, and Pleasure_ has a blog!

(This is a bit of a "special".)

/Chapter 12 - Hip Hip/

Both the skeletons jumped, "FLOWERY!?"

"Flowey," it corrected once more, face still stuck in a.. cute expression? It was sort of suspiciously cute now that it apparently had a face.

"FLOWEY!"

It bowed happily at the correction, sparing its sunshine-and-rainbows smile to both brothers, but resting on Papyrus after a few head turns, "Hi. Why, this is shocking."

"yeah.." Sans muttered to himself.

"IS IT?" On the other end of things, Papyrus acted as if a talking flower was normal. Then again, this was supposed to be the thing he'd put the trust of his unshielded friendliness in for what might be a year now. This was the center of the "flower friend" stories.

"Golly right it is! I was just asleep for a few winks, and now it looks like I've missed something." Something about the flower cheekily looking away was a good reminder they were still holding hands. Soon enough, and with two gasps, they weren't.

"YOU DIDN'T MISS ANYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT!"

"Really?" Pause, "Mind giving me an idea? Just a hint," It twisted a little in Sans's gut to hear his own words from the plant's mouth. But that wasn't the only thing about it that rubbed him the wrong way.. The flower his brother told him about...

"NO IDEAS! F-FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!"

He'd envisioned it being a prank. What trampled into the space of his theory was golden, and no one was manipulating a voice into the thing he refused to believe was a monster. It wasn't even an imaginary friend like he thought upon seeing it. Nothing about this screamed normal.

"Hehe, I'll let you get away with it for now, but friends aren't supposed to be this stingy."

"BUT FRIENDS SHOULD FORGIVE THEIR FRIEND FOR PROTECTING THEM FROM THE SCARY ADULT WORLD! HEAVENS YOU'VE ALREADY EXPERIENCED TOO MANY SHOCKING SIGHTS! WHY, THAT SUGGESTION TO-"

"Woah! I just noticed.. What's that on your armor?" It was faint, orangey-red splots of varying intensity on the front Papyrus connected Flowey's line of vision with.

"CATSUP. NYEH HEH HEH! LET'S JUST SAY YOU CAN COUNT ON ME IF YOU EVER GET ANY ON YOUR CLOTHES! BUT LET'S NOT GET SIDE-TRACKED!" He cleared his throat, "HEAVENS YOU'VE ALREADY EXPERIENCED TOO MANY SHOCKING SIGHTS!" Flowey started making odd faces, "WHY, THAT SUGGESTION-" Flowey took a few audible, frantic breaths.

" **Achoo!**.." Loud. The only babbling mouth shut tight. "Oh golly that sneeze was an embarrassing one.. Anyone have a napkin?"

" _NYEH_ ," Papyrus shivered in revolt.

"..." Nope. "..." Nope. ".. here," Sans finally offered, finding anything in his pockets to wipe up the oozing germs.

"Thanks. But _silly_ , I don't have hands," two wimpy leaves made themselves more evident to back that up, "I'm just going to have to hope and pray for some pity here."

The thick green mucus-.. was disgusting. As a good brother and lover, Sans didn't even ask Papyrus to. He went ahead, made a slight nauseous noise and unfurled the white fabric, only to find out it was soiled so he'd probably have to find something other than it, but at least Papyrus had seemed relived. Yet strangely he paled again and was staring. At Sans's hands. "Oh boy. Who'd have thought you'd have that in your pocket.. (ya weirdo)."

Immediately, only one skeleton seemed to be freaking out, and he directed the holler to the heavens he'd never seen, "OH MY GOD! IN ALL LIFE'S DASTARDLY PLOT TWISTS, WHY DID MY POOR FRIEND HAVE TO BE EXPOSED TO THIS SAUCY INDECENCY!"

".. oh this saucy thing? it's just a little article i keep for when i'm feeling under _it."_

Sans took it so cool that everyone froze. Flowey's snot dribbled down some (and into his gaping mouth, causing him to dry heave). Papyrus's puzzlement won over everything when nothing else happened, "UMM.. UNDER _IT_?"

"under _it_."

"..."

Flowey (with a regained composure) sighed in annoyance. The two brothers were ready to just dwell in the silence. Like they both understood something. But he couldn't stop prodding today, "Under _what?_..." A bit of a skeletal smirk from one, "Under where!?" An apologetic smile from the other.

Sans's face morphed into a victorious grin, reaping in the flower's non-grinning face as it sunk in. Flowey near snarled and made a sound kin to a hiss. Immature, immature, immature!

"was that too childish?.. oopsie 'daisy'. in all honesty, there's nothing symbolic going on here with this underwear. don't 'weed' too far into it."

 _Plop_

"..." Papyrus looked down to the soil where a hole stood with nothing in it, no more bright-sunny-face-turned-hopping-mad. Then to Sans, "YOU TWO MIGHT NEED TIME TO BOND PROPERLY. BUT SINCE THAT'S THE CASE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL SEE THAT THE BONDING HAPPENS!.. LATER." Since Flowey did not seem like he was returning soon.

"yeah? a lack of bonding time is probably the 'stem' of the problem," Papyrus had a slight "And your jokes" glare (at least it was supposed to be, but there was hardly any true anger behind it), "i'll 'leaf' that to you then."

The (weak) glare suddenly softened out with pink in under a minute, and Papyrus averted his eyes, "LOOKS LIKE WE WOULDN'T BE A BAD INFLUENCE ON FLOWEY NOW..-" and a sensual tone of voice arose, "-SO HOW ABOUT THAT _IDEA_?... SANS..?"

"huh, woah. uhh.. i'm-.. down to 'clown'," He sputtered out excitedly, suddenly worried about what his face looked like as he felt a bright warmth flush over his entire head. But the moment seemed to be up as Papyrus only stared at him.

"ARE YOU CALLING ME A CLOWN..?" The thought seemed to process before Sans could refute it, and Papyrus's slightly raised eyes closed tightly. In laughter, "THAT _WAS_ PRETTY FUNNY OF ME TO CLEVERLY ALLUDE TO IT! NYEH HEH HEH!"

"wait. papyrus. it's just your face that's funny, that idea sounds _really_ good."

His eyes opened to stare again. Something processed, "WELL AS LONG AS IT BRINGS YOU LAUGHTER, SANS!" And he smiled. The idea part innocently ignored. Sans and Undyne simultaneously dragged their fingers to almost run down their eyes. Even some of the readers "ugh"d.

 _'but smooching by undyne's house isn't as good an idea as thought- now that i actually think about it..'_ "wanna head back, bro? i have to acquaint you to a mirror."

"HEY, I WAS TRYING TO POLITELY DECLINE IT, BUT THAT SOUNDS UNDENIABLY RUDE, SANS!"

But they were no-hassle through a shortcut once barely out of Undyne's view. All she now knew was that her pyjamas were in sight and she'd finally be able to return to her little nerd's house. Correction, 'the' little nerd's house. Not her's as of the current time, but.. She blushes, and only remembers the skeleton brothers when trying to clear her mind of her own love life.

She'll definitely have to learn how 'yaoi' works in anime.

/-/

"WHY AM I A CLOWN. SAAAANS."

"never pass out when there's markers about, heh heh."

"THEN LET'S SEE HOW _FUNNY_ THIS IS! I HAVE A SECRET ABOUT THIS BATTLE BODY, AND I WANT YOU TO FIND IT! NYEH HEH HEH!"

They were in the living/dining room, and the mirror Sans had propped up on the table didn't look in danger of falling off. If this turned out to be another tousle, which they were becoming more renown for, they could probably bring it to the couch. Or even the floor was alright. The table might be a little risky, but still workable. They would also be able to do it in the kitchen, the main ideal being an open space with little to knock over if they got rough and really into it.

Before any of that, Papyrus was waiting for him to take a guess. "alright.." _'... his outfit is a lot more.. -not there- than i remember..'_ Now daring to check him from head to toe, he started questioning why it felt weird. To see his whole body. They'd only been dating for four days, so there shouldn't have been any thirst to suppress that stopped him from knowing what his own clothed brother looked like before.

"YES, THINK HARD ON THIS! I DID NOT SAY IT'D BE EASY!"

".. how about your boots?"

"NOTHING BUT CLEAN SOCKS AND A MOTH BALL IN THE LEFT!"

"can't believe you 'left' that there since then." (From one of Sans's older pranks.)

"SANS! STAY FOCUSED!"

"heh heh, i am. my next guess would have to be those cool gloves of your's."

"INCORRECT!.. DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY'RE COOL?"

"i 'g'love them."

Papyrus flickers between laughter and 'seriousness'. "NEXT GUESS!"

"umm.. your chest piece?" He's able to somewhat hide his growing nerves.

"NOPE! IS THAT THE 'CHEST' YOU CAN DO!?"

Sans nervously laughs. Oh no, he really shouldn't. But what else was there..? "there?" His finger speaks for him, pointing to an area directly below where Papyrus would wear a belt if it went with his outfit.

"HERE..?" He looks around shyly with some kind of smile, "BROTHER, YOU MUST BE TOO FOCUSED ON MY AMAZING PHYSIQUE. THERE'S NO SECRET TO MY LEGS!"

Sans facepalms and is able to feel the warmth on his face. Of course that wasn't right.

"CHEER UP! THAT WAS A GOOD GO AT IT! IN FACT, I'LL REVEAL IT MYSELF AS A CONSOLATION FOR YOUR EFFORTS!" Sans peeped through his fingers to see Papyrus pull down one of his black sleeves up to his elbow. Lodged in his forearm gap was a blue marker. Then it all happened fast.

Papyrus armed himself with it, popping off the cap before leaping at Sans. His prey's eyes struck fully open. He managed to teleport, leaving Papyrus to bounce himself off the table after charging at thin air, rocking the mirror on it. He spots Sans, just behind him now, "THE JOKES ON YOU! NYEH HEH HEH!" And they begin the tickle/marker fight. (I'm not good at fight scenes, so let's skip that.)

/-/

Eventually they came to an agreement; wash up and chill. The permanent marker didn't come clean off, leaving them with numerous 'battle scars'. (One of them, Sans recalls being drawn on him particularly long when Papyrus had the upper hand, read "I LOVE YOU". Other than that, most were lines and dots. Sometimes that accidentally formed pseudo pictures, though. The infamous being two circles and a vertical line between them..)

Papyrus started staring at him. "what is it, bro?"

"JUST STARING BACK," he chuckled.

"oops," Sans broke his hard gaze for a second, "hey, papyrus. we still have time before _tonight._ can we.. talk?"

"CERTAINLY! WE'RE EVEN TALKING RIGHT NOW!"

"sweet.. how about some seats?"

"SURE!"

They casually strolled from the kitchen sink to the table, chairs across from the other. Something about it did make Papyrus start to worry his two magical eyebrow-lines together, both sitting down in silence.

 _'it has to be brought up at some point.. it has to be brought up at some point...'_ "what kind of things do you talk about with flowery?"

"FLOWERY.." It looked like he was tasting the word itself. Did Sans disapprove of him? What about if he knew the inappropriate things the little flower said? "IS.. I CAN'T QUITE TELL YOU. FOR REASONS."

"papyrus. when you say things like that, well, it's worrying."

".. IT'S NOT, NOT LIKE THAT! FLOWEY IS JUST NOT SO INNOCENT, AND- UHH, _BUT_ I'M SURE IT'S A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME THING!.." Now they both seemed to have a knitted expression of worry. Or consideration.

Sans wanted to say something when all that come out was an astonished moan. Papyrus seemed astonished too even though it was his foot in Sans's lap. Before anything else happened, Sans placed his hand somewhat firmly on his foot. To still or encourage, neither knew. There's no boot on his foot. "SANS.." He almost succeeds in talking quietly. And that was enough to get a response from Sans.

"guess we're going to 'spaghetti'ng to know each other better foremost.." Though the timing seemed weird, Papyrus could no doubt feel how much Sans wanted it anyways. Willingly dropping the subject of that suspicious flower, even. If Papyrus wasn't so innocent, which he couldn't be the way his foot began moving as Sans's grip slackened, then- "so.. still have a 'bro'ner?" the note wasn't so innocent either.

He had hoped. But how taken back could he be when Papyrus instantly seemed confused like he'd already pictured him being at such a filthy thought. Of course Papyrus wouldn't think of these gross fantasies. Then _why_..

".. I.. DON'T GET IT." No answer. He tasted his words again before adding in, "CARE TO EXPLAIN YOUR JOKE..?"

"'brother' and 'boner'. heh. the same meaning it had earlier... _why_ do you have your foot there?"

At last, something seems to make sense to Papyrus. His uncertainty becomes apologetic as he quickly removed his foot that Sans was no longer holding, "I'M SORRY! I KNEW I SHOULN'T HAVE, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS JOKING!" If Sans didn't have a reason to distrust the flower, now he did, Papyrus realized after the words came out in panic, "I-IT WAS ONLY A JOKE, SO PLEASE!"

A sick disgust Sans had for himself grew stronger. And that weed, pulling that kind of prank on Papyrus..

"PLEASE DON'T BLAME HIM!" His face must have looked grotesque since Papyrus reeled back a bit, "SANS-!" Papyrus must be disgusted in him as well. If he only truly knew what lewd acts Sans thought of doing, how much would he hate him. "-.. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?"

Those eyes turned pitch black weren't trained on anything. Sans didn't see the concern on his brother's face as he mumbled, "don't know. not yet. for now, we should stop being together. just as a couple. we can still be brothers. heh.. we were 'bone' to just be brothers." That unseen face welled with tears and- Maybe anger. Most certainly sadness.

"WHY? PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE, I DIDN'T KNOW IT'D BE AN UNFORGIVABLE ACT!"

"that's _why_. you don't know what you're doing."

'Don't know what you're doing'.. "WHAT DON'T I KNOW..?" And there's no answer no matter how many seconds can be heard ticking by. The funny thing about that old clock is that was the first time he heard it's soft clicks. For at least the moment, the sadness is gone, "SANS, WHAT DON'T I KNOW!" and he nearly screams. "IF YOU CALL ME STUPID AND DON'T EVEN BOTHER TELLING ME WHY, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!? HOW CAN I-..."

 _I just want you to be happy._

A tired laugh fills the room after more seconds are heard. "yeah, i'm sorry. you're not stupid," and it's not a lie.

"will you let me try something?.. will you stop me if it's _bad_?"

The odd relaxed tone returned Papyrus to a quieter volume. He nodded. It was hard to believe Sans didn't consider him dumb and to just put away the brewing anger, but the butterflies didn't fail to return as Sans approached him.

Without height standing in the way in their current positions (Papyrus still seated), Sans easily brought their mouths together. Entrance was given, their tongues immediately beginning to dance together, detectably moved by mostly hidden aggression and desire. Neither tried to touch the other for the time until Sans groped Papyrus's nether regions. A flinch, but even when the grope was just the beginning of borderline rough touches, Papyrus did little more. Before Papyrus was moaning into the kiss, Sans completely pulled away. Evaluating everything Papyrus was showing. There wasn't a sign of disgust, but Papyrus couldn't understand what was happening..

".. why didn't you stop me? i know i'm good, but-.." he let the farce at lightening the mood trail off into an upset grumble, hands thrusting into his pockets.

"STOP YOU FROM WHAT?"

 _'he doesn't understand, why'd i think he'd stop me..'_ "welp.. successful experiment, yay... i'm sorry for taking advantage of you," He turned away. Walking casually.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Papyrus's definite feeling is fear. "SANS! SANS!.. A-ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME!?"

To his temporary relief, Sans paused to answer, "have to. i'm messed up, and there's things on my mind. you don't deserve to be wrapped up in this web of a disaster.. gotta 'fly'. see ya later."

"SANS!" Magical desperation fizzles into the air. Papyrus doesn't know what to do with it, "S-SANS, STOP RIGHT THERE!" "PLEASE" is hastily tagged on as he forms blue clouds to pass through Sans. Sans halts at the chill, and immediate realization sets in as the first cloud drifts far away enough to be made out as a blue bone. With his low hp, he has no choice but to let them run their course.

The magic sets a crazy weight on his shoulders, allotting him strength only to stumble to a lean against the wall leading to the door after the attack's over. Ridiculously enough, he didn't even take damage for moving for the first two. He can only conclude they were 'fakes'. But he may have also faked it out. The way from his seat to the door could have been crossed faster, and yet.. Here's he was, back against the wall, brother rushing to his side, "SANS, MY APOLOGIES! I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME!.. THOUGH THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BIT EXCESSIVE! PLEASE, YOU'RE MY 'BRO'NER AND I LOVE YOU!"

'Bone' and 'brother'.

Sans sighed and let his heavy eyes shut. He was about to slump down to the ground when Papyrus surprised him once again- His wrists were grabbed and pinned above his head. (Of course, the skeleton had to kneel to be close to the shorter's height.)

"STAY WITH ME! D-DON'T TELEPORT!"

".. guess we can 'hang' out for a bit," the hold loosens, "later." And Sans begins to flail. The harsh pull of the magic doesn't make any of it easy, the exhaustion is quick to show on his weak body, and Papyrus pales, at a loss.

He resolves simply to jut a hip between Sans's squirming legs.

" _hng_ " _'sh-sh-..oot.'_ Sans breathes out without ease. Was it a genius on-the-spot plan to wear himself out of his frustration by struggling? Apparently not. Not when Papyrus got him worked up in another aspect so easily. And innocently.

"BROTHER. I SEE THAT YOU ARE TRULY ANGRY. AND I CAN'T BLAME YOU.. BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S EVEN ABOUT. WHAT I DO KNOW IS WHAT UNDYNE TAUGHT ME. I MUST FACE THIS HEAD ON! WHATEVER IT IS, I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU!"

"heh, you're angry too.."

"BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS!"

"you shouldn't even try.. i just want you to be happy, and-"

"AND YOU MAKE ME HAPPY BY BEING HAPPY YOURSELF! I AM SERIOUS ABOUT _US!_ WHEN I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY BECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING ME HAPPY FROM BEING HAPPY BECAUSE I'M MAKING YOU HAPPY, I HAVE NO SECOND THOUGHTS! I JUST THINK ABOUT THE SECOND DATE AFTER, AND THE SECOND I SEE YOU- I-I.." Papyrus looked at him and the tears began to spill.

"bro, i- _nnngh_ " Papyrus had pushed his sobbing face against Sans's neck. A weak spot..

"-I REMEMBER THE PUNS YOU TOLD ME, AND I HATE IT, BUT I SMILE! AND-AND-!" Papyrus felt a small shiver. He brought his head back enough to look at Sans with curious eyes. Sans was.. feverish?

"papyrus, you're pure. and i'm _dirty_... don't touch me. please."

He successfully calmed himself enough to ask, "WHY," but it wasn't really stated as a question.

"i just am. if you touch me, i'll get sick ideas in my head."

"WHY."

"maybe it's-.. since i love you" if he _truly_ loved him, wouldn't he be better at controlling his one-sided lust? ".. but that's no excuse."

"THEN WHAT IS. SANS, IS THIS WHAT PEOPLE IN LOVE DO?.. WHY CAN'T WE? HOW DOES ANY OF IT MAKE YOU 'DIRTY'?"

Fuuuuuuuuuun times ahead. What was he responsibly supposed to say..? Sans guiltily retreated into his sweater to hide from the questions. (He would have literally tucked his head in to it, but that wasn't possible while his arms were hoisted up). Papyrus was confessing such pure feelings, yet what he wanted to do to the other shouldn't even be spoken in front of him.

Sans didn't have enough DETERMINATION to proceed. This puzzle would have to be solved ' _ON MY OWN!. . . HE DIDN'T REACT GOOD WHEN I FOLLOWED FLOWEY'S SUGGESTION (LOVE EXPERTS MUST BE A FRAUD!). . . GOD, WHY DID FLOWEY WANT ME TO PUT MY FOOT BETWEEN HIS LEGS? IT'S AN EVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE! . . . BUT HE DIDN'T SEEM TO MIND IT AT FIRST. AND THAT HOT VOICE HE WAS TALKING IN, SAYING WE'D 'SPAGHETTI'NG TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER..'_

"SANS... DOES IT FEEL-" _'GREAT? NO, THAT'S TOO STRONG A FEEL!'_ "GOOD..?" He timidly asked another question as he rolled his hip.

Caught of guard (and in his self-destructive thoughts), Sans carnally rutted when Papyrus stopped. He slowed to a hurried stop as he came back to the real world, and Papyrus stifled a "NYEH HEH HEH!" at the non-verbal affirmative. (Love experts were real!) But he wasn't going to do anymore until he got actual consent.

".."

"I WANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. YOU SEE.. I LOVE UNDYNE TOO, AND FLOWERY. THEY'RE CHERISHED FRIENDS, BUT I ONLY WANT TO-.. W-WELL! WITH YOU, I-.. N-NYEH... WOWIE THIS IS WEIRD WHEN I'M THE ONLY ONE TALKING.. SANS... PLEASE..."

"i'm dirty in one way for sure," Sans mumbled, happier than he was moments ago. Just that tuned out the clock for Papyrus. "i'll explain the joke to you later. for now.. if you-.. don't think it's gross.. you make me feel great.."

"W-WOWIE!" Papyrus went flushed.

 _'in more ways than just erotically,'_ he got a little color as well thinking about how much Papyrus was confessing he loved him. How much Papyrus, his bro and 'bro'friend, meant to him. Also, there _was_ that hip pressed against his hard on..

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL _EVEN GREATER_ , THEN!"

There was no further wait. Papyrus began a sexy hip dance (which Sans would have chuckled at if each sway wasn't sending a jolt of pleasure).

"hnngh. hah... h-ahh, papyrus," Sans gasped almost near the start. He wanted to buck his hips, but the weighted blue magic restrained him. The pressure almost hurt as he realized how starved he was for his brother, how long he'd wanted any sexual stimulation from him. This was almost too much, and yet- "faster."

The voice wispily begged, or commanded. Hotly.. It made Papyrus long for something that, strangely, he couldn't even imagine on his own. But he ignored that and began to make sloppier circles, forgetting grace for speed, and words for light panting.

"heh heh, i was.. _hnnnnn_ , closer than i thought," Sans's panting sounded heavy. His chuckle made the other shudder deliciously, that along with how Sans's face _looked_.

The strain on his wrists was growing stronger. His legs weaker. Not a comfortable situation, but he couldn't complain. He could only moan, and let his thoughts race pointlessly without forming properly. _'yes, f-ugh-yes, faster, you're- hnngh. best bro of the year- i just-'_

"hn ha- _aah!_ " At the yelp, Papyrus stopped.

"ARE YOU OKAY!? I'M SORRY!"

Sans almost inmonsterly growled as he couldn't do much himself on Papyrus's stilled hip, "Don't be. Just-.. faster. .. please." His mind was foggy and heavy, and he didn't know much else except that he soon felt Papyrus complied. Great, he hoped he didn't scare him. But the aching pleasure and need and the foggiest only increased. He wanted it so bad that he began thrusting against the magic, shutting his eyes as he quivered and felt the seconds stretch out while he gasped with every shock of climax. "pa-papyrus!" _That_ sent a huge shiver of anticipation down the named skeleton's spine.

Sans groaned a few times as he quickly seemed to wear out. Papyrus took that as a cue to slow down before ceasing his sways when it appeared to be the right thing to do (by Sans's lack of a demonic growl). When Sans's eyes only opened half way in tired fashion, his wrists caught Papyrus's attention.

 _'OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN HOLDING HIM WRONG!'_ Both their arms were lowered. No longer supported, the worn brother leaned against the next sturdy structure: Papyrus. Sans fit well as Papyrus adjusted to accommodate him, head resting on the red scarf between his neck and right shoulder. Arms wrapped around Sans.

"H-HOW WAS THAT?"

"'hip hip' hooray," Sans said contently into the fabric, happy to stay there for the time instead of dealing with the mess. In his boxers and their love life.

/-/

 **End Note:** Might have stole a line from _the Regular Show_.

And what a plot twist; Papyrus looked like a clown that whole time since the end of chapter 8!

Happy Holidays, after I've left this story on a not-so-happy(?) note! (We'll fix that next chapter! Just know that the last line _might_ be solely from Sans's perspective since he's on a bit of a Sans-hate journey. Speaking of journeys, the top!Papyrus/bottom!Sans shippers might be on a journey to this fic by another, slightly different title. Not saying why~)

 **TO GUEST CONTINUED:** I think what you were reading into in particular is how Papyrus was in "control"? Sans kind of took a step back because he still thinks he's not allowed to touch Papyrus like that, and by letting Papyrus be the one doing the things, he feels less guilty. Also, consider it a really weird hand job. No one is really topping of bottoming when it comes to that I think. But I'm sorry if that's only a personal belief. (This note is excessive, yes, because I'm a _little_ insecure about my writing. Especially the mature parts.)


	13. Author Note (sorry sorry)

Sorry about the crummy way of bringing up hopes and crushing them. I didn't want to use a chapter to update y'all, but I got a review and it'd make me feel worse to leave anyone worried.

I'm really stuck at a standstill here. It just kind of happened where I lost interest in Undertale, and mainly Fontcest. But I did want to finish a fanfiction for once..

So I was thinking. If I continue writing this, it'll most likely end with no sex actually happening. Romance will definitely still be there so yes, it's still incest, but I don't really feel comfy writing them having a very sexual relationship. (I can relate them to my own siblings. Nothing bad happened to me, I simply have a platonic love for my relatives, and that connection of Fontcest makes me a little uneasy.)

So this is a possibility that I kind of just thought of today.


End file.
